If your husband was violent or abusive before divorce proceedings start, his behavior is not likely to improve afterward.  If the divorce comes as a surprise to your spouse, his anger may cause new behavior that scares you.  Whatever your circumstances, neither you nor your children should be threatened or put in danger.  If you are, you need to report the incidents to the police and to your lawyer immediately, document the incidents and their effects, and take steps to get your family away from the danger.

Depending on the circumstances, the abuse you or your children experience may be a crime for which you can bring criminal charges.  Some states allow spouses to sue for damages from domestic violence in a civil suit separate from divorce.  Such cases usually have to be filed within a defined time period from when the incident occurred.

People who have committed domestic violence may want to include a release of civil claims for such acts in the divorce settlement.  This can be a negotiating point for victims of the abuse; they can release their right to sue in exchange for more support or property. 

Any case of threatened or actual physical violence or domestic abuse should be reported to the police immediately.  You may be able to get a restraining order that prevents your husband from coming within a prescribed distance of you.  If he violates the order, you can have him arrested.  Some local courts have provisions that enable you to get a restraining order without hiring a lawyer.  You can get more information from your local family court, police precinct, your local hospital or clinic, legal aid services, or non-profit organizations that help families in crisis such as the Red Cross or the United Way.

If you would feel safer leaving your house, you can also take your children to a safe house.  These exist in many communities to help women in your situation, and you can find out about them through the above-listed referrals.

Always put your safety and that of your children’s first.  If you have time before you leave, gather as many important documents as you can: bank account and credit card information, birth certificates, marriage certificates, Social Security numbers, pay-stubs, copies of restraining orders if you have them and your health insurance information.  Take them with you or give them to a trusted friend for safekeeping

If you can, try to keep some evidence of the abuse in the form of pictures or a journal. 

If you hire a lawyer to represent you in a divorce, make sure the person has experience with cases involving abuse.  And be sure you tell your lawyer everything.

In cases of abuse, the temporary rules can include a temporary restraining to compel your spouse to leave the house and prevent him from having contact with you.  It will prevent him from freezing bank accounts or transferring property.  Once a restraining order is in place, you can file for contempt of court whenever the order is violated, and a warrant will be issued for the arrest of your spouse.